Humour, Journey, Musings and personal, Travel, Uncategorized, Writing and blogging

The Attack of the Space Invader

 


Be warned….they are out there…living amongst us, waiting, watching…..to claim some of your oxygen, all of your arm space and find the smallest imperfection on your boat race…

So one thing I did notice on my recent trip to London was some folks’ lack of respect for others’ personal space.

We’re all used to having to suffer others’ armpits or admiration of chest rug when bustled into a cramped lift or in a busy queue for the train but the seating situation on my last train journey nearly led me to a large guffaw at, let’s call him, Mr Bumble’s expense.

I run for my train as, like usual, I’m always late but manage to bag a seat with a table – to write some of my blog funnily enough – and sit opposite a suited gent, busy working away on his iPad.

  

We’re on the earlier 4.10 train from Charing Cross, with quite a decent selection of places to park our bottoms, when an elderly gentleman decides to plonk himself pretty much on top of poor businessman, let’s call him Suits...hurrah to the fact it’s not on top of me – efficient use of my bag placement trick detailed below…

He then proceeds to pull the arm rest down, without a word of excuse me to Suits, squashing him further into the plexiglass of window, pulls out a paper flapped into face and pretty much uses the businessman as a headrest. He is obviously far too polite to ask for some of his lap back, although looking thoroughly miffed at not being asked to move.

I struggle to hide my rather unfair sneer but plough my head into my handbag for a quick titter and to retrieve my iPad.

We carry on our journey for literally two minutes, when Bumble decides to cough his way into the next century – quite openly onto Suits into his paper and in my direction, hurtling his leftover lunch onto his chin (cue gross out) – no hand over mouth, apology….NOTHING….

At this point, my seating choice is hanging in the balance – do I move to avoid catching the ills that Bumble has coughed all over us or do I sit here in support of Suits in the hope that Bumble will straighten up, the cough will subside or even better he’ll alight at the next stop.

But he sits…or should I say lays… for the next three stops – we carry on with a few coughs here and there until Mr Suits cannot take it any longer and pretty much screams “I CAN’T MOVE ANYMORE MATE!” – we’re all sitting thinking exactly the same but now looking worried that a rows gonna break out…but Bumble nonplussed, stubbornly (although not really allowing Suits any extra space) apologises before gathering his belongings and staggering off at Sevenoaks….

I doubt this is an uncommon difficulty between us humans, and I’ve seen a fair share of space invaders…..what makes them so keen to climb into the face/chest/laps of others I’ll never know…

Moral of the story is……always travel in pairs, or carry a large inflatable person with you or failing that… always start off your journey in the aisle seat with a mountain of bags that you can place next to you as a sign of “please don’t speak to me let alone think of asking to sit next to me”…it saved me from the SI on this last occasion…but he is still OUT THERE….

  

Advertisements
Standard
Baking, Birthdays, Cakes, Cooking, Craft, Humour, Uncategorized

Mary Berry I am not….but you can’t blame a girl for trying? (And please be warned its a little EXPLICIT!!)

Gin and tonic cake discovered with the help of a Pudding Lane share from Giddy Aunt Lola

Cakes….I love them …to eat a lot..and I have a very nice space to fit them into…my cake shelf (which is really just another name for my muffin top but it’s quite fitting as it’s mainly full of cake mix).

 So I’m pretty cack at cooking a decent sponge – if any of you have a magic recipe for the perfect equally rising masterpiece then feel free to add it below – I currently use the weight of the eggs as a guide and make my cake ingredients all the same weight. I was also told to cook the sponge at 150c for a longer time and once it’s risen and the skewer comes out clean then “Hey presto!” 

But no celebratory hurrah from the oven this week…more like a Findus crispy pancake, so extra effort was then needed to hide the complete eff up of cake failure under a wedge of lemon butter icing..hopefully the taste will compensate for the Brillo type sponge it surrounds! I’ll let you know…..

Raffey’s lemon and blueberry Wanda and the Alien cake

Where I lack the skills, my little lady however seems to have a knack for baking and making things turn out just perfect…her Oreo cookies were delish!

Decoration on the other hand is not quite such a challenge as I love a good bit of modelling, fiddling and moulding to get it just how I wanted. I started out with shop bought jobbies in the early days or just a batch of cupcakes, but over the years I’ve gradually plucked up the courage to bake and I now have lots of fun making my children’s requests each year… Having both boy and girl, and with an age gap, they at the moment, tend to be opposite ends of the spectrum.

Chocolate orange fairy house

My daughters favourite birthday cake creation so far



 

But then it’s all change when it comes to friend’s cakes – and I was told this recently after I uploaded my latest to Facebook…..that I apparently tend to be slightly more “diversely creative” ha ha …or more straight to the point: CRUDE….yes crude….so if you are easily offended look away/close your eyes/close this page now….


   Sorry I may appear quite uncouth but I find the ‘dirty’ extremely funny (my dad refers to me as his son!) so when I’m not creating little bunnies or pretty little things, I like to embarrass my buddies by presenting them with a cakeage creation that doesn’t look quite so palatable or easy to swallow 😉 

But sharing is caring, and with the gift of giving and being able to offer some sugary treats … who doesn’t want a cock cake for their birthday? Especially when the birthday night out is to a screening of 50 Shades of Grey…



 

And talking of the dark and mysterious Mr Grey, how talented is Rosie of Rosie Cake Diva who’s lifesized Christian ‘Cake’ Grey appeared on the Graham Norton Show next to the dreamy Jamie Dornan who then proceeded to have a bite of ‘himself’! 

You can read the full Daily Mail article here…I’m not so sure I would have been as cool, calm and collected on his cutting, but if the man he’s modelled on is the one scoffing him then I think I would have been pretty chuffed with myself. Go Rosie!

 So on reflection, I’m never going to make it as a master baker….but that’s no biggy as I don’t really have the patience or commitment, but I take my hat off to those that can and do….and I mustn’t forget to mention the lovely Cakes by Chelsea if any of you are in the Kent area, her masterpieces are both delicious and beautiful 🙂

And apologies to those of you trying to remove the above images from your brain….what can I say….I’m a creative kind of girl…with an eye for detail, or maybe just an eye for bad taste…. 

I’ll stick to the sewing machine shall I? 
 

❤️ T xx

 

Standard